George W. Bush

For months I have contemplated writing a political obituary for our soon to be former President. I resisted, largely because there is nothing I could say that has not already been said - and no doubt said more eloquently - by many people.

Also, given the scope of malfeasance and incompetence demonstrated by the Bush Administration the past eight years, I was at a loss as to how to approach the subject in any manageable way given my chosen medium.

But at this point I guess I feel compelled to weigh-in anyway. My change of heart is prompted largely by the spectacle of Mr. Cheney’s appalling valedictory on the News Hour a couple of nights ago and the treacly unapologetic farewell by Mr. Bush his own self that fouled national television on Thursday evening.

I promise to be brief however.

But before I get to the nitty-gritty as it were, I feel compelled, out of a probably misplaced sense of fairness (a sense that has NOT noticeably troubled Mr. Bush), to mention a couple of things that I think the 43rd President got more-or-less right.

#1 Immigration Reform.
I think this was probably his one and only significant bull’s-eye – at least his initial proposal BEFORE he watered it down after listening to his xenophobe Republican pals in Congress. Of course it went nowhere in any event. Sadly, given the massive agenda facing Mr. Obama, I suspect it may be some time before this issue is revisited.

#2 Education Reform.
As deficient as No Child Left Behind may be, the impulse behind it – requiring accountability for the performance of both students AND educators in our K-12 education system is highly meritorious.

#3 Hmmmm. I’ll get back to you if I think of something else.

So, without further ado and begging Mr. Letterman’s pardon, I am resorting to the tried-and-true dodge of a top ten list. Disclaimer: If pressed, or even waterboarded, I will refuse to suggest that this list is in any particular order except for #1 which arguably trumps the other nine and #2 for the reason stated.

THE TOP TEN REASONS GEORGE W. BUSH IS A SLAM-DUNK SURE BET FOR GOING DOWN IN HISTORY AS ONE OF THE NATION’S WORST PRESIDENTS

10. Polar Bear Peril
Most of the rest of the world (the Governor of Alaska being a notable exception) has come to accept that human activity induced climate change is the most serious long-term challenge facing our disreputable globe (assuming we don't otherwise annihilate ourselves first). Dubya has consistently pooh-poohed the whole notion as not being supported by science – a position that is ironic in several respects given his complete disregard for empiricism in so many other areas and the near unanimous agreement on the FACT of global warming by nearly all reputable experts working in the natural sciences.

9. The Wind Blew and the Shit Flew
Hurricane Katrina. The perfect storm that results when you appoint incompetent subordinates imbued with not very covert racism and fail to adequately fund critical functions relating to –are you ready – HOMELAND SECURITY!

8. You’re Supposed to Kiss Me Before You Fuck Me
The Bush Doctrine: Fuck You World! Preemptive wars, spitting in the eyes of your allies, and refusing to talk to your adversaries – except over the barrel of a gun. The amateurish one-dimensional Bush foreign policy and foreign policy team were found wanting in almost every respect. Although I do feel a little sorry for Colin Powell.

7. Spending Like a Drunken Sailor
The Bush Administration’s conception of the separation of powers: The Executive gets to make all the policy decisions (nearly all bad) and the Republican Congress gets to loot the Treasury. Remember the Clinton budget surplus?

6. Justice is Blind (and Stupid too)
I have a new appreciation for the role of the Department of Justice. Another perfect storm resulting from abysmal judgment in appointing key personnel coupled with a fixation on ideological purity. The department was a veritable incubator of tyranny for eight years.

5. Faith-Based Folly
I have also developed a renewed appreciation for the imperative of separating matters of faith from matters of State. The much ballyhooed “Faith-Based Initiative” was just the largely ineffectual and relatively benign tip of the iceberg for the Administration’s much more serious and broad-based assault on personal liberty – the panting desire to establish as a matter of civil law a sort of pseudo-Christian sharia in this country.

4. Tell Me Where It Hurts
How many years will it take us to reestablish our credibility as a nation in the field of human rights after succumbing to the Cheney-induced fascination with the instruments of torture?

3. Mission Accomplished!
Iraq. The wrong war, at the wrong time, against the wrong enemy. He took us to war under false pretenses. And while we’ve been told day-after-day we’re at war…the cowardly chicken-hawk son-of-a-bitch never even had the political balls to actually call on us to make any sacrifice. Let’s just put the trillion dollar or so cost on the national bar tab. Oh yeah, and then there’s the mishandling of Afghanistan…and Pakistan…and North Korea…and Iran.

2. Tax Cuts for People Who Didn’t Need Them (Just Ask Warren Buffet and Bill Gates)
I almost made this #1 since the incredibly ill-timed, ill-conceived, and class-warfare based tax cuts of 2003 are arguably the single WORST things that the Bush Administration has inflicted on us. And they will hamstring the nation for years to come. We should have been running a budget SURPLUS in these fat years. And what did these trickle-down tax cuts get us? Nothing good for the most part. Many of these dollars went into highly speculative hedge funds and other private equity havens and were subsequently invested in oil futures (that worked well – remember the inexplicable $150 a barrel crude oil price) and, of course, high-yield sub-prime mortgages. Dust in the wind for the wealthy…dust bowl era unemployment, loss of retirement savings, and fear for the future for many of the rest of us.

1. A Second Rate Temperament With a Third Rate Intellect
Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said of FDR that he possessed “a second-rate intellect, but a first-rate temperament.” George W. Bush…not so much. Indeed it is difficult to assess in which quality he is more deficient.

Good riddance you incompetent cheap-jack bastard. And fuck you.